smiling child

Changes to be Made

August 22, 2013 Comments Off on I am Bella’s Daddy personal, reflection

I am Bella’s Daddy

Father and Daughter pose for the camera

To quote some woman I used to hear on talk radio and cringe while I listened to her take calls from random people… ” I am my daughter’s father”.  This is something that I have come to embrace with every ounce of my being.  Like most parents, parenthood came crashing down on me faster than I could imagine.  The feelings, the thoughts, the inherent fear, all of the emotions involved with being responsible for another life, the shaping of a mind and outlook on what life is and what it should be.  This was a tremendous and absolutely petrifying point in my life.  I wouldn’t change it for anything.  I take all the bad, and the absolute wonderful moments of parenthood and let them shape me in my day to day life.  Being a single parent is an adventure in itself and one that I could have never planned out no matter how hard I tried.

As I sit here, starting this blog, this avenue of release and self reflection, my daughter, my offspring, the single most important person in my life, lay sleeping the night away dreaming of going to school tomorrow and what kind of shenanigans she can get into that will keep my life interesting.  I cherish it, and everything that comes with that.  The prospect of being a parent in the beginning terrified me.  It caused me to lay awake at night thinking of how I would manage and how I would be able to provide the type of life that I would want to provide my child.  Now, almost 6 years later, I know that no matter what, I will make it happen.  There is nothing like your child looking up into your eyes and telling you that she loves you.  This is a type of unconditional love that only a child can give.  I know very few things about love, but enough to know that no adult can say I love you like a child can.  The complete un-judging, unconditional emotion that you can see in a child’s eyes as they look to you for anything and everything all at once.  They are the moments I want out of life.


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